Tag Archives: hurt

Poetry #114: Sacrificial Lamb

Weave your fingers into mine

I’m fine, I’m fine

My love for you as a soul, a part of this spiritual family

Just growing used to it’s hurt

Stop telling yourself you can fix it

It’s been this way for quite some time and it didn’t intend to work for itself or for me

The silence of promises

Don’t be a sacrificial lamb, on the alter of it’s rage

All of this seems one encompassing stage

You can never save someone by allowing them to destroy you.

~DiosRaw 22/02/21 23:30PM

Poetry #107: Wounded Healer Friction

Sacred alchemy

The wounded healer

The ultimate scar concealer

Your wound becomes a window

Spilling out light into the world, take an arrow and a bow

Tripping up in this blind forest, keeping sanity in tow

This path is tortous and steep

The gorge beside is remarkably deep

Thousands of moments we weep and weep

With our skill and hard earned art

The gift is there to open our fellow soul’s hearts

Illness is an altered state

A sense of isolation and depression correlate

Helplessness drowns out the sound

One day my will and power will pick me off the ground

Fear is the friction in transitions

Shapeshifting, warping into a magican.

~DiosRaw 18/02/21 08:30AM

Guest Post: Targets Of Bullying & Social Anxiety

This is a guest post by: https://cheriewhite.blog

If you’d like to guest post feel free to connect by going to this blog’s connect page.

After being bullied for so long, targets can develop social anxiety. They withdraw from people because they fear future attacks. The target’s spirit has been beaten down and broken and the person has been abused to the point of losing faith in humanity. Also, they’re reprogrammed to believe the bullies’ lies that they aren’t worthy of love and friendship. They are under the presumption that it’s much safer not to engage in any social interaction.

But what the target doesn’t realize is that in closing himself off from the rest of the world, he unknowingly limits himself in all aspects of life.

Humans were created to socialize and to have relationships. When targets create this invisible fortress around them, it doesn’t ensure their safety but only brings about more bullying. Bullies get their power from our fear. They are like ferocious animals who can smell fear from a mile away and believe me. They take full advantage.

Moreover, targets miss out on relationships that, otherwise, could be and would be fulfilling and rewarding. They unwittingly forego opportunities for friendship, dating, even good jobs that can produce personal success and financial well-being. Because if a person doesn’t believe in themselves, no one else will- that includes potential friends, dates, and company managers and supervisors. No one wants to be friends with, date, or hire someone who isn’t sure of himself unless they have low self-esteem themselves.

People recognize, if only subconsciously, social anxiety when they see it and not only through the more obvious signs, such as quietness, avoidance, trembling, blushing, stuttering or sweaty palms.

Social anxiety can also be more covert, showing itself in less obvious ways:

-Excessive laughing and giggling
-Appearing normal on the outside but nervous and shaky on the inside
-Excessive humor and being overly funny or no sense of humor at all
-Excessive sarcasm/having a smart-alicky attitude
-Being overly friendly/too nice
-Shutting down/freezing up- unable to talk or move
-Fidgeting/can’t sit still
-Lack of or too much eye contact
-Poor posture/looking down all the time
-Having a hard time keeping up with a conversation
-Talking too loudly, too fast, too soft, too slow, or not at all
-Excessive use of foul language
-Wearing attire that is provocative or super-revealing
-A style that is “perceived” as separatist or out of the ordinary (goth, punk-rock, etc.)

The difficult thing is that those covert signs don’t always mean that the person has social anxiety. Many people just have their own sense of style or they may be naturally introverted. They may also have a boisterous personality. If you do not know the person or aren’t close to them, it’s hard to tell.

But one thing that is noticeable is if the person never exhibited this kind of behavior or look before and suddenly, or within a short amount of time transitions into it. And these kinds of changes can only be noticeable to those who are close to the person or have been around the person for years.

Therefore, if you know a person who is showing these signs, instead of pointing a finger and judging them cruelly, ask questions and find out why. You may not realize that person could be a target of bullying or another form of abuse.
And if you are a target of bullying and struggling with social anxiety, I want you to know that you don’t have to live in that invisible prison forever. Bullies do not deserve value and you shouldn’t place any worth to their opinions of you. Understand that you are enough and that your bullies haven’t earned your respect nor your attention.

Only value the opinions or thoughts of the people who love you and whose opinions deserve your consideration, attention, and acknowledgement.
Start loving yourself and practicing self-care. Relax and be yourself. Embrace your flaws and quirks because we all have them whether we admit it or not. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. I promise you that you’ll be much happier and have more peace of mind when you do.

To see more of this writer’s work, check here: https://cheriewhite.blog

Poetry #33: A Break From This Reality

Laying in this bed

A lot has been said

I am in complete dread

Of the night ahead

I’ve been awake for two days now

I need to sleep

To take a break from this reality

And refresh my mind

I toss and turn

My stomach churns

Too hot

Too cold

Too many pillows

Too little pillows

Too little clothes

Too many clothes

This position

That position

Alright I have had enough

Out comes the sleeping pills

I haven’t taken for months

I take one

Lay awake in bed

I feel sick and dizzy

I am calling out

But no one can hear

Not even the damn sleeping pills will make me sleep

What the fuck now?

I can’t carry on like this

It is making me sick

My head is fuzzy

My heart hurts

I have pains when I breathe

And my body aches

So sore

Pain galore

Sleep deprivation is torture

I used to smoke the herb

To sleep

Now I don’t smoke it

My brain is hyper alert

I got to wake up early

For this hospital appointment

To take this embedded piercing

A foreign body

Out of the top of my cupids bow

Sitting on my lip

What the hell do I do?

Another night awake

This is making me ill

Racing thoughts

My body feels dirty

Everything is screaming at me

That it hurts

What can I do?

Except write more poems

To grind the night away

I pray for sleep

This is painful beyond belief

Please God give me some relief.

-Amber @diosraw 24/12/20 00:03AM

Poetry #21: Depths Of Despair

It’s late at night

I feel like I have to hold on tight

To get through tonight

Crouching down by the wall

Smoking the last cigarette call

Trying not to get my mum’s shoes wet

In the dampness and drizzle of the night

Tears prick my eyes

I am all alone

I can’t bare this anymore

Another night wondering if I will sleep at all

In this bedroom where I fall

The same childhood bedroom I return to

I wish I had help

I wish someone could coach me back to life

All the therapists and councillors I try don’t get me at all

It’s hard to find someone who understands deep spiritual concepts

All around me is a cavern of deep lonliness

I am bored of it all so much

I feel sick, I’m so alone, it’s rife

Everything crumbles in front of my eyes

All I can do is look on

Into the blackness of the night

Misery fills this vessel

Burning acid body

What sort of life is this?

No one to call

No one I would bother

With this mess of who I am

No one could understand

Truly the depths of despair

And suicidal fair

Going through my head

All day everyday

The world is moving

Yet I feel stuck

In the same place I was two years ago

The pain won’t stop

The people I live with don’t understand

The person I trusted betrayed my love

Betrayals, a common theme in this lifetime

I wish I could take someone’s hand

And fall into their arms

And sob into their sleeve

And they won’t leave

Like many in this lifetime

I wake up in heavy sweats

The claminess starts the day off

In an uncomfortable way

Can someone please show me the way

Out of this pain.

-Amber @diosraw 22/12/20 23:50PM