Poetry #96: Jungle Girl

There was once, a young old soul

A teenage school girl

A baby pearl

Who blocked off the world

She didn’t want to be hurt anymore

She shoved the pain down, it was torturously sore

So she didn’t drown

Or slip into the cavern, down

She didn’t even notice her own self-deception

She thought she knew her conceptions

She knew she needed a deep and thorough spirit cleanse

She saw through a different lense

Alone for four years

She didn’t hear herself speak

She starved herself and made her space vehicle weak

A knowledge addict, day until night

She learnt the ways of mind and had no fright

To build up her knowledge gave her self-worth

To become skinny gave her the feeling of being beautiful

All she was doing was coping with the pain of the past, not dealing with it, putting band-aids over wounds

She wanted to escape this place

And leave England behind

To find

Enlightenment

When it was there all along

Singing an unheard song

To end samsara

Struken by a documentary

Ayahuasca

This plant medicine of healing

And universal revealing

Westerners travelling to Iquitos, Peru

The only jungle city, reached by boat or plane in the Amazon Rainforest

The biodiversity, the people, the healing, a new life

She was intoxicated with this dream

She waited years until she was eighteen

Legal to be able to fly and enter Peru

Legal to be able to work at a retreat centre doing a shamanic apprenticeship and volunteering

Many years she waited, pain steering

Through the pain, she held onto this dream

The day came when the parents teared up

There was nothing they could do to stop her

If they tried, they knew they may wake up to an empty bedroom one day and no way to contact their daughter

She felt nothing but fearlessness

She had not been exposed to the world yet

She had everything to forget

And everything to gain

For her existence felt insane

She died? She didn’t care

She wanted out of her miserable lair

The world was in the palm of her hands

Strolling across vivid lands

Her intoxicated dream

Was within reach

Only a few connecting flights away

Until she reached Spain

All was going to plan

Her next connecting flight was leaving soon

In Alicante

She layed down on seats, she didn’t sleep much the past day

Peru would let the girl in

But the airline company wouldn’t

She hadn’t flew to South America before they said

They said she needed a return flight

So, this girl phoned her parents

She asked Spanish ladies at a desk to purchase her connecting flight

She didn’t have the funds

She ran out of time

Her mother couldn’t pay over the phone, not allowed

For all the research that she had done

This one slipped under her thumb

She thought she could fly without a return flight

And she just didn’t have enough time to catch the flight even if her mother paid for her return ticket she would never use

Dreams melted

A pit of despair swallowing her whole

She cried outside the airport

Crouching down on her knees

Asking God, “why?”

All those years she waited to escape her bedroom

The prison she caged herself in for years

All turned into, once again, tears

Spanish hotel

Numbed and dead

All alone, eighteen, in an empty vacant stark bone room, lead

Lying on the bed

She wished she was dead

Rather than having to return to England once again

She roamed the local town

Always alone

She enjoyed her own company

Contemplating the world

Philosophy dripped from her eyes

Knowledge teamed at her sides

Yet now,

What was she to do?

The Amazon rainforest shut its gates

Eventually, the girl ended up traumatised from another travelling expedition

Now she is a blog magician

Fulfilling her mission.

~DiosRaw 08/02/21 10:25AM

5 thoughts on “Poetry #96: Jungle Girl”

  1. You have crossed the inner jungle, which is what matters most.
    So lost and so found at the same time
    in this village.

    Ayahuasca, far-away temples, isolated stupas, showy pilgrimages…just outer representations. The true path is on ourselves. Often heard, rarely walked.

    May all beings be free.

    f

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for your beautiful message, I appreciate you. Yes, that’s what matters most.

    Nostalgic dreams…

    Indeed, they are outer representations. The path is what it will be and so it is.

    Much love my friend. šŸ–¤šŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow Amber, this is quite the poem and YOU are quite the soul! Your openness and raw expression of your journey and feelings is inspiring. And that ending is perfect, you are a blog magician!!! Your dream will come true, we have to believe! Iā€™m so sorry for all you went through, but through the pain comes healing and through healing comes ascension! Love you friend šŸ–¤šŸ¤—

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I appreciate your words Ace, love you my dear friend. Everything will work out in the end, I agree pain leads to new understandings and healing then ascension. Blessed. šŸ™šŸ–¤

    Liked by 1 person

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